Bad Wolf Bay
by Ammundaea
Summary: As she watched the last scraps of blue fade away, she felt his arm brush the side of her jacket; felt long, warm fingers slip between hers.
1. Part One

Bad Wolf Bay – Part One 

As she watched the last trace of blue fade away, she felt his arm brush the side of her jacket; felt long, warm fingers slip between hers. She turned to look him in his perfect, chocolate eyes and saw something so inexplicably familiar, so completely _right_ that she couldn't tear herself away. But no, his eyes were different. They were lighter, they were smiling. They had lost the shadow that had been ever-present there, from the moment they met. When he first seized her hand in that dark and drippy basement a million years ago, she had seen it. And to see him without it, as though the weight he had been carrying ever since the Time War was suddenly gone, was something she'd never dreamed of. It was so strange, but for some reason she had been expecting to see fear, uncertainty. Which was ridiculous, of course. He was the Doctor, no; he was _her_ Doctor…right? She swallowed, then spoke quietly, so only he could hear.

"I…" She cursed herself; this was not supposed to be hard. She tried again. "I just need a minute, kay? I just want to…" Her eyes begged him to understand, but she really hadn't needed any explanation. The Doctor just smiled, softly this time. He gave a little nod, then turned toward Jackie, who, now Rose took the time to look, had settled herself on a rock, waiting patiently in a most un-Jackie-like way. The Doctor turned back to Rose, the gentle smile still playing across his lips. He looked down to his hand, and only then did Rose realise she hadn't actually let go yet.

"Right, yeah, sorry," She released his hand, and then he pulled away gently. She suddenly wished he hadn't, for now her hand felt cold and empty. She grasped it with her other and held them close to her stomach, before telling herself how ridiculous she was being. Now that he was here, that they were both here together, he had all the time in the world to hold her hand again. She hoped. She just needed to work out the hundred voices in her head. She turned again to watch him go, his hands following the wearied path into his pockets as he made his way across the wet, grey sand towards Jackie.


	2. Part Two

Bad Wolf Bay – Part Two

The Doctor found a boulder to sit on so he could look Jackie in the eye. This was something previous experience had told him was a highly dangerous thing to do, but he felt that this time, it was necessary. She eyed him warily as he sat down, and seemed unsure of what to say, or if she should say anything at all.

"It is you, though, isn't it? I mean, I know you look the same, but are you really him?"

The Doctor smiled, showing his teeth. "Still me. Still the same man, all the same memories. Still scared you're going to slap me if I do anything wrong."

"Yeah, well watch out for that, mate," she threatened. "I'm still not convinced all this is right." There was a long pause, but before Jackie could question him further, the Doctor spoke.

"Jackie, has she been alright? I mean, I know it can't have been easy, but just tell me…tell me she hasn't…just tell me she's been alright." The pain in his voice was palpable.

The Doctor waited as Jackie studied him for a moment. She spoke carefully, weighing her words. "She's been alright, I s'pose. Got herself a flat now, not living in the mansion anymore. 'It's too busy' she said, what with the baby an' all. But I reckon she just needed her space, yeah? And she's got herself all high up in Torchwood too, doing terrifying God-knows-what, scares me to death."

The Doctor felt a twinge in the area of his stomach. He thought of Martha, a soldier because of him. And now he'd done the same to Rose.

He heard Jackie's voice adopt that dangerous quality he always associated with a particularly painful smack in the face. "I'll have you to thank for that, no doubt. Got her into all this, didn't you? If it hadn't been for you she'd be havin' a normal life, yeah? Maybe settled down, got herself a proper job…a family."

He couldn't bear it, he looked at his feet, because he knew she was right. Knew that he had caused Rose so much pain, and that nothing he could do could ever take it back.

"But I know it wouldn't be right then."

The softness of her voice came as such a surprise to the Doctor that he started, looking up into her eyes.

"Before she met you, she was making do. She was working in the shop, she had Mickey. And then she went away. I hated you so much for that, you know; taking her away from me. But I swear to you after she met you she changed. But when she came back she was happy, happier than I'd ever seen her. And you did that, Doctor. You made her so happy. And no mum wants to take that away from her daughter. I hated you for taking her from me, and then I hated you for leaving her, because it ripped her apart. She's been coping, here, she's been surviving. But she hasn't been living. She hasn't been alive in three years."

The Doctor felt his solitary heart splinter at her words. He shifted his gaze toward Rose, sitting on an oversized boulder, her eyes pointing out at the bay. He opened his mouth, he tried to tell Jackie he was sorry, that he knew he'd ruined things and that he knew she'd never forgive him, not that he deserved it. But this time she beat him to it.

"Now, what are you doing? Are you going to vanish again? Are you going to bugger off and leave her all alone? Because if you do, I don't think she'll recover this time. The only thing that kept her going this last year was the thought of seeing you again. Goodness knows it didn't end up quite the way she expected, but she's got back to you. But are you going to stay here?"

There was nothing the Doctor could do but nod; he didn't trust his voice yet. Breathing hurt. His heart hurt. Everything hurt. The thought of Rose, all alone and in pain, and all because of him, was too much for him. After some time, he managed to speak, tearing his eyes from Rose.

"Jackie, I'm not going anywhere. She told me once that she'd stay with me; she said she'd stay at my side forever and I thought then I could never have that. I knew that no matter what, it would never be forever for me. Now my forever and hers are the same, and I can't imagine not spending every second of it with her."

"Good." She smiled at him, and he looked toward Rose again, to see that she hadn't move an inch. "And how've you been, then?"

The Doctor looked back at Jackie, saw her head cocked to one side as she surveyed him. He swallowed, trying to work out how to answer her.

"Oh, I've been going, you know me. But," he paused, the memory of flooding and fire and Donna in a soaked wedding dress rushing back to him. "After I lost her, I…I couldn't, I wasn't going to…" He couldn't finish, he just turned to mirror Rose, looking out across the water. Jackie seemed to understand; he felt her squeeze his arm, then she stood up.

"I'm gonna call Pete, let him know we're back," she pulled out her phone. "You alright?"

All he could do was nod.


	3. Part Three

Bad Wolf Bay – Part Three

Rose found herself a relatively flat rock to sit on, high enough off the ground that her feet dangled above the sand. She felt like a little kid, impatiently waiting after being told to sit still. But she needed to think, to work out what had happened, and really, what would happen.

She was back. She was here again, the place she had always associated with pain, pain beyond anything she'd ever felt. That white room in Canary Wharf was where it started, but it was here on this cold, gray beach where she knew it was for good. Before their goodbyes on this beach she'd thought there was still a way home, that the Doctor would find a way to come back to her. Then he'd stood before her, trying so hard to be strong, for her, and whispered that it was the end.

So she told him she loved him, because she couldn't let him leave without knowing. If there had been time, she would have told him more. Like how at first, it was something you'd call a crush, something you associated with a poster on your wall. She adored him from afar, because some part of her understood that he, with his piercing blue eyes and worn leather jacket, was out of reach. Unattainable. He had been too badly hurt by the Time War, he was damaged and broken. But more than that, he was amazing and wonderful and fantastic, and how could he ever feel that way about her, an ordinary girl from the estate. But then he changed, and not just his body, (although that had helped). The change was more than his eyes turning from blue to brown, his brilliant smile now reaching his eyes every time, and his truly spectacular ears being replaced by truly spectacular hair. It was deeper, much deeper.

The first place the old Doctor ever took her was to see the end of Earth, the destruction of her home. True, it was billions of years into the future, but it had hit her hard. Then, the 'New New Doctor' took her a little farther forward and gave her hope, showing her that life goes on, and that things can get better. That was enough to show her the change in him, but he kept surprising her. Because he was happier, there was joy in everything he did. Now it wasn't just historical events and following mauve distress beacons, they were going to concerts and parties and beaches. And she loved it, she loved the new him.

Then she started to realise that they, what they were together, seemed to be changing too. They held hands more often, their hugs lasted just a bit longer, felt just a bit tighter. The glances were more than glances. Suddenly, he didn't feel like a poster on her bedroom wall anymore, because the new Doctor seemed to want her, too. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment she knew she was in love with him, because whenever she tried, it felt like she always had been.

And she'd found a way back to him, she'd jumped from world to world searching for him, until finally she had him back. Then after everything that had happened, all she'd gone through to get back to him, he'd still left her here. With…himself? Was that right? He was the same, but a little different. Could she live with that? She turned to look at him, sitting with her mother a distance away. He was right; he looked like the Doctor, spoke like the Doctor, and from what she understood, he felt the same things as the Doctor. She'd seen him change everything about himself, she'd gotten used to an entirely new body and a different personality before, so why couldn't she do this?

When they were trapped on Krop Tor, that impossible planet, faced with the certainty of a normal life, they had skated over the thought of living together. Now that they had no choice, would he want to stay? He had never been impressed by 'domestics' before, nor doors, carpets or mortgages. Now he was forced to stay here, without the TARDIS. Just one planet, one time, for the rest of his now brief life. Had he been dumped here by the other Doctor just as she had? Could he ever really be happy staying still with her, despite the fact he'd told her he loved her?

She'd wanted to kiss him before, when they had run towards each other on that deserted street. So when he had whispered into her ear those three beautiful words, she was overcome. It was what she had been waiting to hear for almost as long as she'd known him. She couldn't wait any longer, so she did what she should have done before they'd ever been torn apart. She kissed him, and he kissed her back, and she could feel from him everything she'd ever wanted. It was surreal, and beautiful, and better than she ever thought kissing the Doctor could be. And then they were interrupted by the sound of the TARDIS's engines; a sound, she thought with a pang, she would never hear again. She had pulled away to watch it disappear for the last time, and she hadn't even said goodbye. Now she thought back, she felt a surge of guilt. She hadn't been trying to hurt the other Doctor, but now the last memory he had of her was her kissing someone else.

Well, not entirely, it was still _him_…

And with that, she realised more. They were the same Doctor, they felt all the same things, even if the other one hadn't told her he loved her. She knew that if he had, she never could have stayed in Pete's World. She would have demanded to go back with him. But the other Doctor knew history would repeat itself. He would outlive her, or lose her, and he couldn't bear that again. This way he knew she would always be safe and happy. And she loved him for it, because now she understood everything. She hadn't been left with a cheap copy or a broken man needing repair. He had left her the part of himself she could have a normal life with.

His words from years before echoed across the beach. _"Here you are, living a life, day after day. The one adventure I can never have."_ But that wasn't true any longer. So she turned and looked at the Doctor again and let herself feel. She opened herself up and tried to work out what she wanted. She looked at him, and she felt…what she'd always felt.

Love. Unquestioning and never-failing love for him. All that was really different was that he could now do something he never could before: he could love her, completely.

She realised with some shock that her cheeks were wet. She had been crying. She wiped them away impatiently. No, she had given enough of her tears to this beach. No more. She climbed down from the rock, wiping her hands on her pants and taking one last look at the bay. This was no longer the place where everything ended, this was where it could all begin again. She smiled, the first real smile in far too long, and began to walk back to the Doctor. He was standing now, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the sea. He turned as she approached him, and she saw his eyes form a question.

"Are you alright?"

She smiled again, taking his hand in hers.

"Yeah, I really am. Ready to go?"

The Doctor smiled too, the wonderful, mega-watt grin that she had missed so much.

"Pete's got us onto a flight back to London, but it won't leave for a few more hours. There's a taxi coming to take us to a motel close by while we wait. Figure we could all do with some rest. Blimey, travel's going to be a lot more complicated now."

Rose looked at him quickly, unsure as to whether or not her fear had been realised. But the Doctor was still smiling, and he seemed to notice her concern. He gave her a little nudge.

"More fun that way." He winked at her, and gave her hand a squeeze. She grinned again, and together they walked to the road to wait with Jackie.


	4. Part Four

Bad Wolf Bay – Part Four

The wait for the taxi wasn't long, and soon Rose and the Doctor were seated in the back. Jackie sat in the front seat, talking the ear off the driver, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable. Rose climbed onto the hump seat in the middle of the back bench, trying to stay as close to the Doctor as possible. He still held her hand, firmly, like he always did, whether they were walking happily through some alien village or running for their lives. They rode in silence, both of them tuning out Jackie's ramblings. As they drove, the sky growing darker, Rose began to lean her head onto the Doctor's shoulder. He looked down at her, wondering if she was falling asleep, but he could tell her eyes were wide open. He knew it would be a while before either of them could rest.

They arrived at the motel on the edge of Bergen at nine o'clock, and began to pile out. Jackie paid the driver, (who seemed immensely relieved), then walked straight inside. Rose and the Doctor managed to extricate themselves without dropping hands. Both seemed afraid of letting go, afraid that they would lose each other again. They shared a small smile before turning to follow Jackie. When they finally managed to get through the door, Jackie had already been to the front desk.

"Well, here you are then." She handed the Doctor a room key. "I'm in room two hundred and you're just across the hall, two-oh-two. Try to get some sleep; I'll come wake you in a couple hours."

She smiled at them both, then made her way up a small set of stairs down the hall. The Doctor was shocked at Jackie's tact, for she had not needed to ask whether or not he and Rose wanted to share. Evidently being in Pete's World had changed her.

"Up we go then?" asked the Doctor, gesturing to the stairs where Jackie had disappeared.

Rose grinned, and together they followed. They found their room, small but clean. After closing the door behind them, they finally released their hands, feeling now that this was a safe place to do so. Rose crossed to the bedside table and switched on the lamp.

"Not bad," observed the Doctor, examining a doily on the wooden dresser.

"Been in worse," said Rose, her tongue now poking out between her teeth. The sight of that familiar expression made the Doctor's smile grow wider. "Mum's probably asleep already. Are you tired?"

"Yes," the Doctor admitted, toeing out of his burgundy trainers. "But sleep can wait."

Rose too slipped out of her shoes, and took off her dark blue jacket. She pulled down the comforter and crawled into the bed, lying flat on her back. The Doctor paused in the act of taking off his jacket to admire the effect of her hair splayed across her pillow, then inched into the other side. They both turned on their sides to face one another, and for a while simply stared. They studied each other's faces, as though once more committing them to memory. It was a long while before either spoke. Finally, the Doctor took a deep breath.

"This isn't what you wanted."

He said it so bluntly, so matter-of-factly, that Rose was startled. She saw the hurt in his eyes, and quickly extracted her hand from beneath the covers to grasp his. She looked down between them for a moment, placing their hands directly in line with both their hearts. She spoke quietly.

"This isn't what I expected," She saw his eyes turn downward, now watching the interplay of their fingers against the sheet. "But that doesn't mean it's not what I want." He met her eyes again, and she smiled before continuing.

"Travelling with you was amazing, and I loved it, every second of it. Even when we were running for our lives or facing down Daleks, or Slitheen or anything else. But that wasn't why I stayed. I never thought we could have anything like this, so I told myself not to want it. I knew you'd never settle down, and I couldn't leave you, so travelling for the rest of my life was all I wanted to do. Not because of planets and supernovas, but, well, for you." She looked down, blushing deeply, and was thankful the lighting was as dim as it was. The Doctor squeezed her hand and she let his eyes capture hers once more. He seemed unable to speak, and his eyes were shining.

"Rose, I…"

But she had to continue, had to know. "But I know this isn't what you wanted." The Doctor looked shocked. "You're cut off from everything. You've got no Tardis, and you're stuck here, no travelling, well, not like we used to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're stuck here. That you're trapped here." She kept looking down, refusing to look into his eyes and see her worst fear: that she was right.

Rose's words seemed to spur the Doctor into speech. "Rose, look at me."

She did, unwillingly. He could see tears beginning to sparkle in her light brown eyes.

"Rose, all I've done all my life is run. And yes, it's…beautiful and brilliant out there, and I've – we've – done some amazing things. But being here, having a chance to live a normal life, is something I never thought I could do. Because I knew that it couldn't last, that one way or another…I'd be alone again."

The tears were now falling from Rose's eyes onto her pillow. He reached out his free hand and used the pad of his thumb to gently wipe them away.

"But now, we have time, this precious, finite time. And it's brilliant, because more than anything, it's with you." He paused, before looking directly into her eyes.

"When I met you, you made me happier than I'd felt in such a long time. Decades…centuries even."

Rose squeezed his hand and gave him a watery smile. The Doctor tried to return it, but instead found himself struggling with a lump in his throat.

"And when I lost you, you took half of me with you. And I could hardly bear that once. I can't do it again."

Rose opened her mouth to speak, to assure him that she wouldn't, couldn't leave him again, but no sound came out. She could only nod, more tears falling from her eyes. She gripped his hand, relishing in the feel of his slightly calloused fingers on hers.

"My Doctor," she finally choked out.

The Doctor smiled, then propped himself up slightly, freeing both his hands. He took his right and ran it through her hair, and with the other wiped the remaining tears from her face. He looked at her with such tenderness that Rose was overwhelmed. She reached up her fingers to lightly stroke his cheek; he was very close now. Then, all of a sudden, everything that had prevented him from doing what he really wanted in the past seemed to disappear. There was no need to wait anymore, no need to deny either of them. And so without a second thought, the Doctor cupped her cheek and leant down to press his lips onto hers. It was softer, slower this time, but somehow filled with more emotion than before. Rose's hand now moved from his cheek to the back of his neck, running her fingers through that fabulous hair. After several glorious moments he pulled away gently.

"We should sleep," He whispered, his breathing slightly laboured from lack of oxygen.

Rose nodded, cursing her own exhausted body. She turned, and the Doctor pulled her close to him.

"Goodnight, Doctor," she breathed, and he could hear the smile in her voice. Rose could feel the steady beat of his solitary heart against her side, and felt a contentment she hadn't known for three years. The Doctor leaned across her and switched off the lamp on the table, then lay back down on his side. Rose nestled into the curve of his lean body perfectly, and the Doctor wondered incredulously how he could have ever fallen asleep before now, without her tucked up next to him.


	5. Part Five

Bad Wolf Bay – Part 5 

The Doctor had always been a light sleeper, and Jackie's gentle knocks on the door were enough to rouse him. He was unsure of how long he had been asleep, but was painfully aware that the time had gone by too fast. Trying hard not to wake the still sleeping Rose, the Doctor slowly and rather ungracefully fell out of bed, making his way to the door. He squinted at the light in the hall as Jackie came into focus.

"Right, I've gone and let you two sleep longer than I should've. The plane leaves in just over an hour, so we've got to get a move on or we'll miss it. And I'm not staying another bloody day here if I can help it. So shift!"

With that, she bustled off, returning to her room and leaving the still bleary-eyed Doctor to yawn widely and close the door. He returned to the bed and leaned over Rose to wake her. He smiled as she stretched in her sleep, her hair decidedly comical. He gently smoothed it from her face, sitting down next to her as her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, and she returned his grin with a very sleepy smile.

"Morning," she replied, "Although, it doesn't feel like it. How long were we asleep?"

"Only a few hours, Jackie says our flight's leaving soon, we've got to get going. We can sleep on the plane."

"Okay, I'm getting up. First thing's first, though," she said, with a very serious expression on her face.

"What?" Asked the Doctor, a look of concern across his face. But Rose merely grinned, and reaching up her hand to the back of his neck, she pulled him down to her and kissed him softly. She was still smiling when she released him, and the Doctor couldn't help but smile back. As she rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom, the Doctor stayed still on the edge of the bed and was hit with another wondrous bolt of realisation. This was their life now. This was how their mornings would be (although 3:30 am in Norway could hardly be counted as 'morning'). He could wake up next to her, kiss her good morning and they could spend the day together, doing whatever they wanted. It was brilliant. This was his life, and it was domestic…and he loved it so far.

She returned from the bathroom just as Jackie's slightly more frantic knocks sounded again. Rose answered this time, being closer to the door, and Jackie strode into the room looking rather harried.

"Well come on then, I've already called us another cab, it'll be here soon. Get your things, and I've picked up some breakfast. Come on!"

She left again, and the Doctor turned an amused eye to Rose. "How can she be that awake at this time?"

Rose giggled. "She's gotten used to going without sleep; Tony's a right little terror, up all night. He's old enough now he should be out of it, but he still gets her up before dawn every day. Come on then, she's right: we're being slow."

The Doctor grinned and started to put his jacket back on, and slipped into his burgundy trainers. It was really quite lucky that they hadn't arrived in Pete's World with more than the clothing on their backs, at least as far as dealing with an angry Jackie Tyler went. They met her in the lobby just a few minutes later, and piled into another cab for the short ride to the airport. There was some trouble getting themselves sorted on the flight, for it was very strange indeed for three people to be in Norway without any luggage, let alone passports. They finally got themselves settled, after some well placed calls to the Torchwood head office and many apologies from confused customs officers. Rose and the Doctor were gripping one another's hands again, and sat next to each other in a slightly over-crowded section of the plane.

"Not that I'm complaining," The Doctor began, after being jostled for the third time by a rather large Norwegian man, "But couldn't we have got better seats? Or even, a nicer plane? Pete's the head of Torchwood, now; surely he can do better than this."

Rose looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, it's not that simple. We're trying not to attract attention, so we get a normal plane."

"What do you mean, 'attract attention?'"

Rose was beginning to blush. "Well, the thing is…I'm, well, people…know me here. If Dad were to send out our zeppelin it'd get a lot of attention, which is well, irritating."

The Doctor's lips twitched upwards. "Do you mean to say, you're a celebrity here? In all the magazines?" That manic grin crept across his face as Rose blushed even more.

"No, of course not, nothing that bad. But it's better to avoid any contact when necessary, given what we do."

The Doctor still grinned in an amused sort of way. "What will all the tabloids say now? 'Tyler heiress returns from Norway with strange man in tow!' Scandal!"

Rose playfully punched his shoulder. "Knock it off, you. It's not THAT bad."

Jackie turned around from her seat in front of them. "We're almost there, you two. Pete'll be waiting with Tony when we land. Rose, you're coming back to the house first, before you head back to the flat. Give us time to work out what we're doing with him." She jerked her thumb toward the Doctor, who nodded sheepishly.

Rose rolled her eyes at the back of her mother's head, then turned to the Doctor. "That reminds me, what do you want to do now. I mean," she paused, looking uncomfortable. "There's always a place for you at Torchwood, but if there's anything else. I know an actual job isn't at all what you're used to, but you could, I dunno, teach, I suppose."

"I've been thinking about that, actually," The Doctor stared thoughtfully out the cabin window. "I sort of worked for UNIT, a long, long time ago, as a 'consultant.' I could do the same at Torchwood. Can't think of a better way to earn a living…ooh blimey, 'earn a living.' That's new, I'll have to get used to that…than protecting the planet every day."

"And you won't find it weird, working there with me?"

"Naah, why would it? It'll be just like old times, you can me, saving the world, like always." He grinned at her, and she squeezed his hand.

The Doctor swallowed. Another, less pleasant thought that had been on his mind now surfaced. "And I suppose I'll need a name now, if I'm going to be an official, well, person." Rose looked a little confused, but he continued. "I mean, I'd probably go with John Smith, but what do you think? I know I'm not really the Doctor anymore."

Rose stared at him. "Is that what you think?" she asked quietly.

He turned away slightly. "Well, I can't really expect you – "

Rose reached out and cupped his cheek, turning his face to look at her. She gripped his hand tightly. "Don't be stupid." She grinned at his bewilderment. "You're the Doctor, you're _my_ Doctor. You don't need to change that, not for me. And as far as all the official stuff goes, Dad can figure all that out. You might not even need an 'official' name."

The Doctor smiled gratefully. "First name 'The', last name 'Doctor'…it could work…"

Just then, the pilot announced they would be landing. Rose looked out the window onto the rapidly approaching tarmac. "Now, next big hurdle," she said. "Tony."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but why is that a hurdle?" asked the Doctor.

"Because if he doesn't like you, you'll never hear the end of it," warned Rose. "He's two and a half now, and bossier than Mum."

"Blimey," said the Doctor. "Come on though. It's me. He'll love me!"

Rose rolled her eyes as the plane touched down.


End file.
